If you haven’t guessed by reading and listening since April of this year, I’m a huge fan of the decade that brought us everything from Beanie Babies to lifelong emotional trauma set off by a series of unfortunate world events. Yup, the ‘90s. And there was no one cooler to a kid during that era than Macaulay Culkin.
I mean, speaking of emotional trauma…that bitch could not see without them glasses! If you don’t know what the hell that means, you may be a bit too young to be here, or don’t appreciate classic cinema like ‘My Girl,’ which turned 30 not too long ago this year. However, almost an exact year before bees and mood rings completely fucking up an entire generation, Culkin starred in a movie that went on to be what I feel is the epitome of the holidays and the reason why he is this week’s star Holiday Movie Crush, and that is ‘Home Alone.’ Well, I’m more a fan of ‘Home Alone 2,’ but nevertheless, Kevin McCallister is the king of Christmas as far as I’m concerned for so many fucking reasons, so here we go…
First off, ‘Home Alone.’ Again, I’m way more into the sequel but there are reasons I love the first one just as much too. Culkin played a kid we either knew, or were, and that’s a kid that sort of is lost in the shuffle of life. A nobody, even in his own home. So much so…they were able to get on a plane and not realize his ass was MIA until way past landing. That says a lot about parenting of the ‘90s but that’s another story for another day. Anyways…Kevin wanted nothing more but to be left alone and he got that. I mean, I only had a household of four most of the time and I felt that. However, you also learn that family is like the most important thing on earth blah, blah, blah.
The sentiments of the movie are great and all but let’s be real. The classic scream in the mirror? The insane torture of the burglars? All reasons we continue to watch this as soon as there is a chill in the air. The same goes with the sequel because in 1992 director Chris Columbus (I know, right?) was like…okay let’s do that again, only BIGGER. They took Kevin’s ass to New York City where those watching truly got to be envious because if we thought being home alone in our own house was da bomb…that had nothing on faking a hotel reservation in a nice as spot, room service, a limo, and all them toys at the end?
Throughout it, all Culkin did what Culking did best in the ‘90s and that was give kids his age someone they could legit relate to. Today, you will not get a huge movie like this starring a kid unless it falls under the Disney umbrella that includes Star Wars and Marvel. This is a shame because having movies from your childhood that star someone you can relate to – on an age level at least because let’s face it…he was a white boy and the representation on that front just wasn’t on point – allows you to hold it close to your heart a little more as you get older. This is probably why both of these movies continue to be a family favorite because every year a new crop of kids get to watch and be enthralled by this average kid who gets to do some pretty wild shit around the best time of year to be a kid; the holidays.
You know, Culkin may have turned 41 this year, but the beauty of movie magic is that Kevin McCallister will always be this pint-sized psychopath who takes out the bad guys on Christmas. For that, how could he not be my holiday movie crush?
Crushgasm 