Totally Rad ’80s Crush

Much like a lot of kids today who are looking back to the ‘90s for fashion and the early ‘00s for music, I did the same with the ‘80s. Born at the tail end of the decade that brought us MTV and a definite hole in the ozone layer due to an insane amount of hairspray used, I lived most of that time oblivious to pop culture. However, thanks to basic cable I got to know the ‘80s, but surprisingly my ‘80s crush – or crushes – developed in 8th grade English. 

Almost every hottie in ‘The Outsiders’ was someone I knew from elsewhere. Patrick Swayze made me feel things as a kindergartner, Emilio Estevez was fucking Coach Bombay, Rob Lowe was just a gorgeous celebrity that was hard to ignore, and Tom Cruise was well Tom Cruise. So watching this movie, none of the cute guys were new to me but it was the first time I’d seen them together in this movie Mrs. Patterson popped on after we’d read the book. 

In an instant, my class became quite obsessed with the movie. I mean, the book was whatever but let’s be real…we were a generation born glued to the television set…we were going to love the movie version better. For the rest of the year we yelled, “Do it for Johnny!” and years later a poster of the cast adorned my side of a college dorm. Why? Well, because when you look back at the 10 years that made up the ‘80s, ‘The Outsiders’ was frankly an explosion of ‘Tiger Beat’ wonders rolled up in one coming of age story that does everything from make you cry to make you want to jump Rob Lowe’s bones. 

I think it’s pretty common to wonder what your life would be like if you were such-and-such age in a particular decade. You know, well…what would I have worn, watched, liked? For me, I always think about spending my adolescence in decades past. Would I have loved The Beatles? Probably not. Would I have been a disco-obsessed kid in the ‘70s? Nah, I probably would have been too busy trying to emulate Mary Tyler Moore’s career. As for the ‘80s? There is no doubt in my mind I would’ve been trying to dress like Madonna while daydreaming about being Cherry Valance. Only, I would’ve been trying to hook up with Darrel, Dallas, Two-Bit, Steve, and of course, Lowe’s Sodapop. 

The ‘80s gave us a lot of great pop culture moments and with that a lot of crushable characters throughout, but when it all boils down, I can’t deny the ensemble cast of hot ass Tiger Beat centerfolds, my Outsiders. 

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