In real life villains can be such a bummer, right? They lie, cheat, steal and that’s just those with political power. Okay, bad attempt at ‘Weekend Update’ humor aside, since author Paige Lavoie went animated with her villain choice this week, as did I shouting out Ursula, I thought that we’d keep that train going by talking about the animated villain crushes more than a few people have had over the years. From the randoms of the ‘90s to Disney favorites, let’s take a look!
Sideshow Bob, The Simpsons
This is probably just the ‘Frasier’ fan in me talking but Sideshow Bob wasn’t that bad looking, right? I mean if it’s true what they say about men with big feet, then you’d have a hell of a time with this guy. Plus, he’s super intelligent…well, sort of. His plans almost always get fucked up by children…but he’s a catch!
Doctor Blight, Captain Planet
If there is one thing ‘Captain Planet’ taught me it’s that men were fucking up the earth a lot more than women were. That’s because out of all the major villains, only one was a woman and her name was Doctor Blight. Obviously, a horrible person who wanted to harm our planet but in real life, could you not see her played today by Elizabeth Banks? At one point she was voiced by Meg Ryan, so it’s not too far off…
Jafar, Aladdin
There were the kids that loved Aladdin, those who fawned over Jasmine like ‘Workaholics’’ Adam DeVine, and then there were kids who were definitely going to grow up a bit wilder who fancied Jafar’s wicked ways.
Jessie, Pokémon
Everything about Jessie screamed, have a crush on me to those who watched ‘Pokémon’ religiously. Yeah, Misty was cute but for some, she just could not compete with Jessie and that hair. Oh, that hair!
Dr. Facilier, The Princess and the Frog
Much like Jafar, Dr. Facilier made everything insanely sexual in moments when maybe it shouldn’t have been and some took notice in more ways than one.
Vanessa, The Little Mermaid
Uh oh, we have Ursula entering the chat for a second time this week! This time as her alter-ego Vanessa. She was like Ariel, only with a sinister vibe that honestly, we lived for.
Sōsuke Aizen, Bleach
Y’all know I don’t know much about anime as we have discussed with Willie of Willie Nillie Knits, Desarae Wyn, Todd Way, and most recently Paige Lavoie. However, I did look into some anime villains and Sōsuke Aizen’s ‘80s cocaine frat boy is kinda cute!
Catwoman, Batman: The Animated Series
When it comes to ‘Batman: The Animated Series’ every villain was 100x better than the rich guy who could not get past his trauma and put everything he had into a hobby. So I could’ve really put any of the villains here but as you’ll see Catwoman and another were the winners this time around…
Joker, Batman: The Animated Series
Alongside Poison Ivy in the winner’s circle is none other than Joker!
Shego, Kim Possible
Whenever I see a list about animated crushes, Shego from ‘Kim Possible’ is on there. No. Matter. What. So she obviously had to top this one too!
Crushgasm 