Later this week we’ll dive into the more innocent side of crushes, and plenty of nostalgia, when we talk to ‘Nineties N Noughties’ host, Jamie Dyer about his childhood crush but first…I had to think long and hard about this one. Not because I lack crushes from my elementary years but because I really wanted to be on Jamie’s level. With that, I went with a childhood crush that was nothing more than me thinking this um…boy…was cool and someone I wanted to hold hands with and that is none other than ALLLLVIN! Yes, the fucking chipmunk.
Looking back, I was really into Disney’s Robin Hood, Chip N’ Dale, and the singing trio of rodents that NO ONE seemed to think was weird in their world. Shockingly, I’m not a furry but alas, Alvin was a childhood crush for the books. During the summer Alvin and his brothers would air at a specific time during the morning and I planned my whole vacation around this because why not? He was cute, could sing, and had killer dance moves. At least that’s what I thought as a wee child with a crush on a forest creature.
In many ways, Alvin and the Chipmunks could be tossed into the list of influential boy bands, and when you think about it that way – my crush makes absolute sense. It’s like loving boys who could sing in a synchronized group was my destiny because I then went on to spend the latter part of my childhood discovering new feelings thanks to the Backstreet Boys AKA cute boys who could sing and dance in formation. Those new, special feelings were never around for Alvin because one – I was too young and two – he was a chipmunk and not in the same way Robin Hood was.
Alvin was also the bad boy, which was appealing as a kid but now? I’m so much more a Simon girl but back then the way Alvin always got himself, his brothers, and the Chipettes into trouble was thrilling to my second-grade ass. And since we just mentioned them, yes…I was completely and utterly jealous of Brittany. I was and will forever be a Jeanette, so at the time it was upsetting that Alvin was with someone SO far off from who I was. People wonder why millennials are weird as fuck? We had complicated, imaginary relationships with rodents.
Now does my love of Alvin still linger? Not in the way my heart still belongs to Robin Hood, but I still love the show, the songs, and yes – those movies because it’s a franchise I just cannot shake. As for that newish Nickelodeon show? That can burn in the pits of hell because those weird-looking human-chipmunk hybrids are a horror story.
Crushgasm 