It’s hard to find someone who doesn’t have a crush on someone that well, doesn’t exist. For me, it’s like loving Jack Dawson from ‘Titanic’ but not wanting to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio in the back of an old-timey car on a cruise ship that’s about five minutes from sinking to the bottom of the ocean. This week is all about that. Our guest this week dished about half a dozen fictional crushes that she’s loved throughout her life from small screen critters to fairy tale favorites, but before you hear all about hers – we’re going to dive into just one of mine (because there are plenty), Zack Morris.
The Blonde Babe from Bayside, Zack Morris. Likely the reason so many grew up in the ‘90s yearning after the coolest guy in school. Which was exactly my story as a kid. My elementary school crush was the hotshot, dirty blonde boy who was the epitome of small-town, California cool at the time but could he hold a candle to Zack? Hell no. Zack was everything you could ever want and it showed because he managed to kiss just about every female friend he had. Yes, only four girls – but that’s a lot to a smitten eight-year-old.
Smitten and jealous, because I wanted nothing more than to get Kelly out of the way. However, when he kissed Lisa, my heart stopped. The coolest guy at school kissing the Black girl?! Because I was one of three Black girls at school, and because I crushed on the cool white kid – this was the type of representation I needed at the time. Did it help with my low self-esteem overall? Not so much, but it gave me a sliver of hope that the kid at school would love me one day. Spoiler – he never did.
Regardless of what my elementary school did to break a heart he never knew was his, Zack Morris is forever up there on my fictional crush list for a myriad of reasons. He not only connected with Lisa, giving me that ounce of hope, but he was just this gorgeous older boy who was charming and had hair that was so on point, it’s likely why I only had eyes for blondes for a very, very long time.
While the crush is on a fictional character, the love was anything but made up. Even today, I’ll stumble upon an episode of ‘Saved by the Bell’ and just have hearts in my eyes as Zack tries to pull off the most insane shit in the hall of Bayside.