Author and relationship coach Eri Kardos spoke with us about a crush that worked out, and we got into so much about how she and her now husband went from Facebook Messenger to a worldly romance. She was kind of shocked to learn that only two other guests had come through with similar stories; Mahogany Jones and Kate Yeager. That’s the thing about crushes, at least from what I’ve learned via Crushgasm – they rarely work out for a couple of reasons. One is that they’re typically on celebrities or fictional characters, two types of people that are usually out of reach to many. The other reason is that when we crush on people in real life, we often get too scared to act on those feelings, leaving us in crush mode. Having had a lifetime’s worth of crushes before hitting 40, both of those reasons are why I have a myriad of crushes to pen stories about and why I came up blank when trying to think of a third one to write about as I’d already shared about the two times things panned out well. Shout out to my forever crush, my husband! Anyway, let’s revisit a couple of major ones that didn’t work out for this reason or that.
Let’s start with the crushes that leave us delusional in daydreams; celebrities and fictional characters. In what world would I have ever come across JTT as a child? He was an actor in Hollywood. The star of a Disney movie. I was a mere eight-year-old with a Pocahontas backpack. He was also six years older than me. Age though, is the last thing that comes to mind when crushing on famous faces because I truly believed with all that I had that me and Nick Carter could be a thing despite me being 12 and him, 19. Oh, girl, you were insane. The crazy crushing didn’t stop there as I also would have done anything to marry Alvin, yup – the chipmunk, or Disney’s Robin Hood, yup – the fox. Forget they were animated. They were also forest critters. It’s obvious as to why all of those crushes didn’t work out, but they do remain among the many I cherish as they led me to where I am today. That’s the thing about crushes, they’re each a stepping stone in life, a marker for various chapters in our lives for my childhood and adolescence would not have been the same without them.
The same can be said of the real-life crushes that never worked out from elementary school through graduation day. My elementary school crush was my friend and someone I looked at with hearts in my eyes because he never gave in to the pretty girls in class. He could’ve. Almost everyone had a crush on him. Alas, the low self-esteem caused by being an oversized 5th grader led me to remain friends and keep that crush locked away. Now, looking back at middle school…I’m very glad this crush didn’t work out because…y’all, what was I thinking? I believe being blinded by the “cool kid” was a real thing at that age because, in hindsight, he wasn’t the best. As for high school, there were so many crushes over those four years but the one that stood out, was a doozy, and had it worked out then, I would’ve welcomed it. However, low self-esteem was a constant companion then. I likely would have died of embarrassment before ever allowing any of those crushes to know my feelings.
Eri Kardos is much braver than me, in more ways than one, and it was a joy to speak with her about a crush that worked out, in that we also got into why crushes don’t work out and yeah, part of it is what I’ve displayed above – straight up fear. Whether it’s the worry of embarrassment or the fear of rejection, that crippling feeling leaves most crushes unresolved.
Crushgasm 
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