There’s a good chance that I watched at least 80% of these movies the night they premiered because I was a cool-ass middle schooler during the early ‘00s who was home on the weekends instead of out and about. I was also that cool in college so yeah, I feel like I’m in a good enough position to rate Disney Channel Original Movies. Plus, we had the Disney Channel Original Noobies stop by this week to discuss their DCOM crushes, and in that, we talked about the top-tier movies to come from the Disney Channel. You obviously know what number one is if you listened. If you have yet to listen you can do so here or here.
Now that you went and listened, you can continue to see what the top 10 DCOMs – ever (up until this point in time) are according to me!
Underwraps
Only because this was the first one to make DCOMs a fucking institution. We always have to pay respect to the ones that started it all and whoop – there it is. A movie about a group of friends and their um, mummy…
Brink!
I watched this in recent years and while it’s not as great as I once remembered it to be in 1998, but it’s great in a whole new way because it’s fucking ridiculous. Erik von Detten, a bonafide ‘90s ‘Tiger Beat’ champ, has to choose between his rollerblading crew and an actual sponsorship that can make his family real cash because his dad is housing back issues…Yeah, it’s a wild plot only matched by the straight attempted murder plot by the villain of the story.
The Luck of the Irish
The Disney Channel Original Noobies had quite a lot to say about this one, and rightfully so BUT Ryan Merriman is DCOM royalty, and I mean…good job teaching us to be proud of our heritage…I guess.
Camp Rock
DCOMs hit a bit of a rough patch for a minute but then there was this amazing wave that hit and from that wave, the Jonas Brothers and Demi Lovato (I suppose). Put those four together and you had a movie about singing at a camp.
Motocrossed
Dear youths, back in the day we fucking loved extreme sports, and Disney took full advantage of that. I mean there are three movies on this list about those types of sports.
Johnny Tsunami
What’d I just say? Of all the extreme sports type movies, this was the fucking best.
The Descendents
I’ve never seen anything about this franchise but the concept – genius.
Halloweentown
This is a strong contender. I mean, this has reached like a ‘Hocus Pocus’ level when it comes to must-watch Halloween time movies but there are two movies that edged it out by mere centimeters.
High School Musical
…Zac Efron…that’s it. No, he’s not the only reason this is so high. This movie went above and beyond what a DCOM could be and was the first to do so. While ‘Halloweentown’ was the first franchise to kill with every movie – except the last one. Why replace our girl like that – this one went to fucking theaters with its final release.
Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century
Here it is, the Beyonce of DCOMs – at least to me – because when I think of a DCOM, I think of a musical moment (check), a wild plot (check), and my childhood (check). Yes, DCOMs have continued to come out but like with emo music, my generation truly did have the best of the best.
Crushgasm 