Star Wars Crush: A Bad Boy From a Galaxy Far, Far Away

There are plenty of people out there who may have read that and instantaneously thought, oh…we’re going down the Kylo Ren rabbit hole. No. Stop. That’s not happening here. In celebration of our favorite, the one and only Sexistentialist coming through this week to talk about her ‘Star Wars’ Crush, we’re going to kick things into gear with mine and that is Darth Vader. Well, not James Earl Jones although I could go on AND ON about ‘The Sandlot.’ No, we’re here to talk about the man he was before he went…well, went a little too far into the dark side and that’s Anakin Skywalker. 

Trying to recall when I first say Hayden Christensen, I looked up ‘Life as a House,’ and…it came out 20 years ago next week (11/9/01). So as I type this with my arthritic hands I’m like fuck…it’s been a minute since I feel hard as fuck for him as the insanely Hot Topic-like character in that movie. Who knew that he’d then go on to be sort of the Emo King of Space years later? Anyways, that movie led me to being all about his casting in the ‘Star Wars’ prequels. That, and the fact that my mom is oddly into the franchise and introduced me to it long before Christensen was a part of it. 

So I went into those prequels he was in knowing all about him. Well, as much as one could know about a celebrity then as the internet was still a little scarce for those of us who couldn’t afford it AND a computer. Anyways, I’d like to say that I have this deep-rooted connection to Anakin, but this crush is solely based on my teenage hormones catching wind of him a year prior. Those hormones led me to be a bit too obsessed. Obsessed to the point that I made my mom ask the Doritos delivery guy at her work to let me have all their ‘Star Wars’ chip displays. My room was WILD back in the day. Wild and incredibly tacky in the best way possible. 

Unlike the Sexistentialist, whose ‘Star Wars’ crush comes from this wonderful place that we’ll get into deeper when that episode drops later this week, mine was completely driven by good old fashion teenage hormones, but can you blame me? Anakin Skywalker was played by one of the most gorgeous men pimped in teen magazines in the early ‘00s. Him and Orlando Bloom’s Legolas? Are you kidding me?! Which…anyone out there who wants to dish about their ‘Lord of the Rings’ crushes? Stephen Colbert…?

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