There was nothing as grand as Friday night in the ‘90s because that meant ABC was about to kick major ass with their family-friendly block of programming, and while I lived for Shawn Hunter’s hair and Sabrina’s magical mishaps…those shows were always missing something. In fact, all those major networks fell a little flat in terms of the type of representation a kid like me needed.
Aside from ‘Roseanne,’ ABC, CBS, NBC…nada were delivering what Fox had. ‘The Simpsons’ were cool, the Bundys were trash, ‘In Living Color’ made it so I didn’t see ‘SNL’ for years because Jamie Foxx and Jim Carrey were all I needed as a kid. Then somewhere between then and killing Marissa Cooper in the streets of Mexico Fox took some rather odd turns. It was no longer the network I fell in love with as a kid, but rather a fucking joke.
So before singer-songwriter, Aspen Anoda dives into a crush mistake that went on to spawn quite the tune, we’ll dig into why loving Fox as much as I did was my hugest crush regret.
As I said, Fox was everything to me as a kid. It was the channel that constantly delivered what a family like mine wanted. We got comedy from ‘Martin,’ drama from ‘Melrose Place,’ and even cheered on our favorites together as a family when ‘American Idol’ was watchable and produced people who’d go on to have actual careers. It was around the time the OG judges left, and Seth MacFarlane had what seemed like his 17th show on Sunday night that my heart started to turn cold towards the network. I’d pop in occasionally for ‘Bob’s Burgers’ and was delighted by ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ and ‘The Last Man on Earth,’ but when those two sitcoms were given the ax, it felt like Fox swung straight at my heart because other than the animated burger shop, what else did that network have for me?
It hurt even more when Fox went in hard with ‘The Masked Singer.’ I admit, it’s interesting to see what celebrities would be bored, desperate, egotistical, or all of the above to participate but when you compare what that is to the programming that Fox built its foundation on – it’s truly embarrassing.
Yes, this crush mistake wasn’t on a person but it was just as heartbreaking because for years I’ve had to watch the once love of my life continue to take a tumble down a path that is paved with masked celebrities trying to prove to Jenny McCarthy that they can sing.
Crushgasm 