Is there anything as intense as a crush during the era of your life known as middle school? The hormones are coming in hot, you’re feeling all sorts of new shit, and you believe that if that one person you like doesn’t like you back – your life is worthless and you’re the ugliest human on earth. I mean, if this was not your middle school crush experience, did you even go? Oh…if you can’t relate, you were most definitely one of those pretty people those like me looked at like, FUCK YOU. Regardless, I’m here today to talk about my middle school crush and all its embarrassing glory.
When I was younger, we had about four middle schools that were then split between a pair of middle schools. So I had no idea who was going to be in my classes once I said adios to 5th grade. Who would’ve ever guessed the “absolute cutest guy in the entire world” would reside in the advanced classes with me come the fall of 1998? Not me! But also, me because I was prone to like at least one person I shared school space with.
He was a smart metalhead who read way too many books about hobbits. Yeah, I’m not sure why I thought he’d pair well with my boy band loving behind but alas, he was IT. Yes, there were a handful of other cuties that filled the halls but for some reason, none of them ever edged this dude out of the #1 spot – for three whole years. Even in 8th grade when he dated the poster child of Hot Topic. Do you know how hard it is to TA with someone dating the boy of your dreams?
It fucking sucked on so many levels.
This week on the Crushgasm, me and Todd Wayy get into the low self-esteem that comes with middle school and mine could not have been lower. I mean, the boy I dreamed of being with proved I wasn’t his type at the time, and that did crush me. Overweight, curly hair, skin far from fair – yeah, I was basically everything that girl was not. That’s how it played out for so many of my crushes growing up and it’s one of the reasons why I was super late breaking out of the shell when it came to romance. I just didn’t think anyone wanted me.
Of course, this wasn’t in any way my middle school crush’s fault. How was he to know that my heart belonged to him at the time? I just hope that kids today see the error of their elders’ ways and know that what happens within the confines of middle school should not in any way impact how you feel about yourself. Yes, it’s going to suck at the moment, but once you move on to 9th grade and beyond, it’s important to leave those middle school nightmares in the past.
Unless, of course, you’re a blogger or doing a podcast about them. Then, go ahead and pull those memories out and put them down!
In the end, my middle school crush was just that. A middle school crush. It’s weird, it’s like as soon as we got to high school – I just didn’t see him the same. Maybe that’s normal for a lot of us because suddenly there are older people to crush on, and well…you’re a little different than you were the first day of high school than you were when you stepped into 6th grade, and everything you do reflects that – including who you crush on for the next four years.