While ‘I Love Lucy’ set the bar for comedy, it was the ‘80s that really drove home what it meant to deliver a great family sitcom. From the sort of standards like ‘Family Ties’ and ‘Full House‘ to the more out there stylings of ‘Alf,’ the ’80s was not short on great television the whole family could enjoy together. That includes 1985’s ‘Growing Pains.’ Yes, the show that housed a young Leonardo DiCaprio towards the end of its run with what is quite possibly one of the best theme songs, ever. Yes, that show. It’s also the show that is home to one of the most disappointing crushes I’ve ever had, and that’s Kirk Cameron’s, Mike Seaver.
This week Ken Ken AKA Mr. Gentleman is here to talk about a crush from an ‘80s sitcom who has yet to let him down, and while I could’ve gone that route – I decided to steer my crushship like the Titanic because Kirk Cameron remains a crush regret.
See, for those who’ve never watched a single episode of ‘Growing Pains,’ Cameron’s Mike Seaver was one of the absolute coolest characters on television back then. Well, for those who watched anywhere from ages 5-19. Michael J. Fox’s Alex P. Keaton was cute, but he had that Reagan stink on him (although on the show that never really got too wild), but in reality, these two actors could not be the furthest from their characters. That’s the sad part about growing up with hearts in my eyes for the bad boy ways of Mike because really, he’s nothing like that.
It’s a hard pill to swallow given Mike Seaver was just the coolest motherfucker around back in the day. I’d go as far as to say he was a top 10 crush of that era when talking about the ‘Tiger Beat’ Hall of Fame. I mean, look at how cute he was!
Even as I got older and heard that he would only kiss his wife on screen, that didn’t rattle me too hard. I was like, okay – he’s just like, super in love with that woman and incredibly faithful to an extent that is a bit odd but who am I to judge? Well, then came the age of the internet and the Trump era, and well, a lot of former big names in Hollywood started to act more than a bit odd. They were downright insane. Was this because they hadn’t acted in anything relevant since 1993, or was it because they were horrible people blinded by their faith? Kirk Cameron probably leaned a little in the former and a lotta in the latter.
Religion isn’t something I will write a person off for. What crosses the line for me is when people think their faith in some made-up religion has the right to govern the lives of everyone around them. Cameron didn’t just cross that line, he lit the line on fire and crushed every ounce of love I could have ever had for the character that made him famous. He wasn’t alone though. I’m sure fans of ‘Charles in Charge’ star Scott Baio and ‘Hercules’ himself, Kevin Sorbo, also felt this parasocial heartbreak.
Mike Seaver was the epitome of ‘80s cool, but along the way, the person that played him went off the rails and down a rabbit hole lined with Jesus Christ posters and red hats. It was disappointing to see how he acted during COVID and continues to be a problematic Christian because I’m not religious but isn’t the whole thing with that religion supposed to be love and understanding? Something along those lines. Instead, he’s weaponized it, much like many in this country, and it’s a shame because I really would’ve loved to see another one of those ‘Growing Pains’ TV movies that update us on the family’s whereabouts. Now? I’m good. Let any other show continue that tradition. Well, maybe not ‘Charles in Charge’ or ‘Hercules,’ but you get what I’m saying.
Crushgasm 