A First Crush

While my mom and her best friend wound up pregnant at the same time and forced me and the boy child to pair up, Chris wasn’t my first crush. He was just someone I spent most of my early childhood with and in reality is more like a brother than anything else. So when I think back to my actual first crush, there was only one and his name was Kenny. 

With my mom working around the clock and a new baby brother in the mix when I was in kindergarten, a babysitter was necessary. This woman didn’t just watch the two of us though. She also cared for a band of brothers and that’s where Kenny came from. He fell somewhere in the middle of the pack with hair that was always disheveled, and a scuff mark somewhere on him. He smelled like recess in April and was a nice kid all around. Unfortunately, Kenny and I only had a few minutes before school and an occasional hang after because we didn’t go to the same school.

Who knows what may’ve been if we’d had more time or attended the same school and were able to sit next to one another on the lavish classroom rug. Like everyone with access to a computer, I’ve tried to look up people from my past just to see where they are today and nada. Nothing. I always thought his last name wasn’t common, but Facebook proved otherwise. 

At five-years-old, I pretty much cemented how I’d react around crushes for the rest of my life – well, until my late 20’s – shy as fuck. We played as kids do, but I never mustered up the courage to try and say more than the typical shit kids say when letting their imaginations run wild between cartoons and snack breaks. 

Kenny was my first but as far from my last crush, but we all start somewhere…